MENOPAUSE
Amen-o-pause
A Bizarre Parody of The Song, ‘Panic’ by The Smiths
Back in 1986, when I was throwing myself around my bedsit with wild abandon to anything and everything by The Smiths, little did I envisage that my future 54 year-old self’s body and mind would be so ravaged and crazed by the menopause that I would decide to change all the words to ‘Panic,’ cajole a few musical mates to help record a backing track and some vocals, make a ridiculous video, and then upload the bizarre result to YouTube.
It’s a perfectly normal thing to do, right?
This silly menopause song is dedicated to all my fellow menopausal mermaids and their confused partners — as well as anyone who just fancies squandering a couple of minutes on a surreal encounter with the inside of my muddled, middle-aged, cyst-infested head. Featuring well-known symptoms such as panic attacks, hot flushes, sleepless nights, and mood swings.
See you all on the other side, ladies …
ORIGINAL LYRICS
Panic on the streets of London
Panic on the streets of Birmingham
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again?
The Leeds side-streets that you slip down
I wonder to myself
Hopes may rise on the Grasmere
But honey pie, you’re not safe here
So you run down to the safety of the town
But there’s panic on the streets of Carlisle
Dublin, Dundee, Humberside
I wonder to myself
Burn down the disco
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music that they constantly play
It says nothing to me about my life
Hang the blessed DJ
Because the music they constantly play
On the Leeds side-streets that you slip down
Provincial towns you jog ’round
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ
Hang the DJ, hang the DJ
